Our Comforter...

This has been ...a week...to say the least.  It started off on a high... anticipating the holiday with family and friends, being thankful for so many blessings. 

At the start of the week, a new friend at church asked me a wonderful question. She wanted to know more about the Holy Spirit, more specifically, spiritual languages. It brought back such a freshness to my heart...thinking back on the days when I first trusted Him. It really brought me to the main question, why should we receive the baptism of the Spirit? 

Oh sure, many will say... to pray more effectively, or to feel His presence, but the real answer is power.  Not power to do as we please, but to do as HE pleases. He gives us power to witness, to live lives where doing the right thing, doing the hard thing, doing the impossible...is possible, because He is right there providing His power...never expecting us to have it within ourselves.

So, that leads me to the rest of the week.  I marveled at the strength two of my sisters had in the loss of their brother and their father this week. How can they do it? How do they speak of the joy in knowing their loved ones are with the Lord, rather than burying themselves in their grief? I'm again reminded of the Holy Spririt...Our Comforter. The same God who gives us power to witness, to live the life on the path less traveled, gives us...comfort.

So, how are these connected? How can I even begin to fathom this divine power He places within us? How can I begin to grasp that the God of the Universe...the Holy Spirit...would choose to live within me?  And so, there it is...He is our strength and our hope...He is our peace in the midst of the raging storms.  When life's battles reveal our weaknesses, they also become an opportunity to reveal His power. He is the hope that lifts us from our dispair and promises new life. So, when you find yourself in a mixed up week of ups and downs, and really just want to find something to hang onto until the merry-go-round stops...remember...He's always there.

To Dream or Not To Dream...

Dreams can be powerful things. Some friends of mine claim they never dream. I know that it’s just that they don’t remember the dreams, but in a way it seems sad. Sure I could do without the nightmares, but then there are also those joyful dreams…the kind that inspire us, that make us believe all things are possible.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that a dear friend and mentor was mad at me…absolutely furious…he was disappointed in me and wanted to just cut me off from his family and friends. In my dream, I never really knew what it was that made him so mad. He honestly seemed so disappointed. I did find out that it was due to lies that were said by someone he thought he could trust… and in the end, it was all cleared up.

But the feelings that stood out were not feelings of self-pity or anger. I was at first confused, and then desperate to have the truth be known, then finally…I gave up and let God be in charge (why is that always my LAST action?) and only then, did the truth come to light.

Because I believe God wants to always teach us something through our dreams, I pondered this one long and hard. I think I realized that the thing we all need to remember is that we shouldn’t react when faced with injustice. God calls us to act in accordance with His Word. We are to act in grace…ALWAYS. But this isn’t something that is automatic for any of us. It must be learned.

I’m reminded of Mr. Miyagi with Daniel-san…”Wax on, wax off…” God wants my drawing nigh to Him to become as natural as breathing. If I have to stop and think before I react, well…sometimes I just won’t. But if I read His Word, pray, draw close to Him, get to know His heart…then, I can learn what it means to think and act with His heart. So, in this case, God used my dreams to teach and stretch…

It's funny how we all are taught something new and different, even from similar dreams.  It was such an odd dream, so out of character for that person, I felt I had to tell him the dream and what I learned.  Maybe the message wasn't just for me?  God has such a sense of humor!  That very night he also had a dream that his loved ones were mad at him, and he too had done nothing wrong.  He shared what he learned about himself through that dream in his sermon Sunday.  About feeling unappreciated?...maybe we all seek acceptance of those around us more than God occassionally?  We should find peace in knowing our place in Christ...in knowing who we are and who we belong to.  Such rich lessons! I'm in awe of the way God works! How He reaches right into our minds to touch our souls! 

 

So, the next time you have a weird dream, ask what it told you about yourself and what God wants you to learn or see. It usually isn’t about the situations themselves, but our reactions. Good choices, bad choices, feeling like you have no choice…the mysteries our minds want to unravel during our sleep…God is willing to make clear. 

G’Night…. and ”Sweet Dreams!”.

No Regrets...

I'm sorry it's been a while since I've blogged. Sometimes, what is stirred up in your life is on too personal a level to blog about.  Sometimes, connections to our past can be bittersweet memories.  That's a big part of my journey this past month.  Maybe you too have certain memories of your past that are bittersweet...regrets that are mixed with the good times. 

Have you ever looked back on highschool days, for instance, and just smile at the memories of field trips, lunchtime banter, or some winning point you scored, to be flooded with the feelings of regret for being a wall flower or not standing up to the class bully or maybe for being too much of a conformist instead of being your own person?  Why does this happen? Why can't we just let go of the pain and embrace the good times? 

Some might argue that the regrets are what keep us straight today. There may be some truth in that, but I also feel that we spend a lot of our lives beating ourselves up for not being THEN the person we are NOW. This is kind of crazy if you think about it...afterall...we are the person we are now BECAUSE of those experiences. We grow, we learn, we change and mature...those very experiences we regret are often the stepping stones to the person you are today.

So, the next time you feel those deep regrets...turn around and thank the Lord that these moments now allow you to feel you need for grace, to empathize with others, to now "do the right thing".  Be thankful and praise Him that He has used the evil done against us AND the evil we ourselves wrought, and has transformed it into a blessing known as wisdom and understanding.  Don't punish yourself for acting as a child when you were a child...rejoice that you're an adult. Don't beat yourself up over failures...because you acted in the knowledge and strength you had at the time...instead be thankful for your wisdom today and His grace along the way.

Clear the path ahead by not regretting the hard steps along the way but by praising Him for the blessings they have brought and the clearer vision today!

In His Presence is Fullness of Joy...

Have you ever experienced one of those moments where you feel like you're REALLY seeing and feeling the hand of God in action?  They're such amazing moments!

I came to church this Sunday expecting an average day. I was feeling that calm, sweet breeze in my soul. I'd had a good week. Nothing special, just a week where I really felt like I was growing and getting to know myself and God a little better.

The service started off as usual. We had awesome praise and worship! I was really experiencing the worship... really "in the moment".  I was just feeling grateful...worshipping God...knowing He loved it...all of us in the sanctuary in our different states...some hurting, some sick, some worried, some happy and hopeful...ALL choosing to worship Him because of who He is...not regarding our state as having any importance in the light of His glory. And then, in that very moment I started experiencing one of those eye-opening, heart-bursting moments. 

The minister called for prayer, a message was given that one or many were there with suicidal depression, but that God not only knew, but cared and was there to make lives change and be made whole...to make dead men LIVE.  Then, hearts melted in the realization of His love... people came forward for prayer.  I was so full of Love for Him, to see His heart this way. A worship leader sang a song she'd written. It was so clear and touching...speaking of God knowing us so intimately, knowing our names, knowing each tear that falls.  One woman came forward for prayer, and was going to have to wait, as the altar workers were praying with others...but God saw her! He didn't miss a beat! Others came forward and held her and prayed with her until the ministers could come pray, as well.  His love surrounded her through the Body.

I was trying to pray, to sing, just feet away...I was overwhelmed by the whole experience. It was like a river flooded across the front of that church and poured  out over all who were there. It was so full, so rich in His presence...then like He whispered just to my heart..."I'm always here".  I couldn't stop crying...realizing how true this was.  He DOES know my name...He DOES see every tear I cry...He ALWAYS has been right there...in the midst of my pain and the center of my joy...and whether I "felt" it or not...He was the very strength I used to survive every moment...I didn't even realize...all along...it was HIM.

It was one of those moments when you see life so clearly...standing in His presence...and, yes...I really experienced "Fullness of Joy".  Had my troubles vanished, had everyone been healed, had lives been tranformed before our eyes? ...in that moment...yes...in that moment, in His presence...no care this world could throw at me even existed...it was just Him...loving His children. 

Spring up! oh well within my soul!

Praise Him today for just walking with you through this life...walk with Him...spend a little time in His presence...get to know His heart, His will...then just KNOW that will and pray it through...experience it...allow yourself to be loved by Him...in His presence there's fullness of joy! ...and the joy of the Lord is our strength! 

So, go recharge your batteries! :-)

Hurricanes...

We're heading towards the Hurricane, or at least its aftermath...towards the beach. I was excited about chasing that storm. I'm not sure why. Maybe to see its power to feel its strength. I love storms. They remind me of God's power. Weird, huh? Well, I guess when you've run for so long from the storms of life, REAL ones are a breeze. (Pardon the unintentional pun.)

This got me to thinking...I know, what a shock. :-) Anyway, I was comparing my storms with those in the world. Why is my reaction so different? Should it be the same? Should I look upon the storms in my life with the same awe? And surprisingly, I have to admit, the answer should be "Yes.".

So, as I watch the extra large waves, the strong winds, and think of the Creator, I'll also try to reflect on my own storms and remind myself of the awesome strength He brings through this weak vessel that enables her to ride the storms out! There's never been a storm that's crushed me. I'm still here to tell the tale. As soon as I make it through the storm I'm a victor. Beaten? weary? ...sure...but a victor none the less.

So, I will praise Him for He is stronger than the storm! And His awesome power is a testimony of His love for me! He may calm the winds and waves...or He may just calm those within me. 

Life isn't always fair...but it's eternal...and He loves us.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair or right. It seems like we're being handed all the trials and few of the blessings. A dear sister-friend of mine has been such an awesome example of faith and grace during her battle with breast cancer and now it looks like she's in for an even tougher battle. Why??? It doesn't seem right. But just maybe this time it's US who need to have faith...maybe it's our turn to live out her example for her! I WILL stand and BELIEVE...because I KNOW God loves her more than everyone combined...and He has a plan and a purpose that will bring true blessings.


Maybe we just need to be reminded. Just how much He cares.

Come on in...the water's fine!

The water seems so scary and wild. The waves pull the sand beneath my toes and I squeal in delight.

When I go to the beach, I sometimes close my eyes and listen to the sound of the crashing waves and birds calling faintly as they fly against the wind. My mind wanders back to the days of sweet Summers passed.

I remember my first tumble in the surf, days combing the shore for treasures of sharks teeth and sand dollars, being buried in the sand, building castles and watching them melt away in the tide, learning to read the sets to find that perfect ride into shore, and walking with our pant lets rolled up in the moon light as a glowing path of luminous foot prints are left behind us. Every Summer was a greater adventure than the last!

Then, time slips by and I find myself not having time to go there. The cares of life and business of responsibilities seem to always win out in the end.

Isn't that how our relationship with Christ can be? When we first get to know Him, we are excited at all the possibilities, the joy, the peace... then, one day, we become too busy to really pray and read the Bible. We convince ourselves that it's okay, that God understands how other things just have to get done. Until, one day we find ourselves only remembering the experiences of our youth rather than living them anew today.

If you find yourself looking back, stop and take a look around you, find some alone time for just you and God. Experience His presence and let Him take you to a Summer you've not yet dreamed of! The Son is always shining and ready for you to come. Be still and know that He is God. He gives His beloved rest. A peace that surpasses all understanding awaits you!

Time is not the great healer...

Okay, so how did my visit to Lejeune and feeling blessed switch to my remembering the "bad 'ol days"? It's a long story. I started to listen to stories from my brother's old friends... stories of a person I never knew. I started to feel pangs of sorrow, grieving for the brother I never had. Oh, my brother is very much alive, but you see, I haven't seen him in 15 years, and haven't spoken to him in about 11 years. He just chose not to be my brother. But it didn't happen 11 years ago. I believe it happened the day I was born.

Sometimes, we chalk up the fighting and picking as just sibling rivalry...something you'll grow out of when you're older...or so I was told. This never happened for me. Instead, there was a boy who grew into a man I've never really met...or only part of him. The part he let me see was the one who liked to torture his little sister to see her scream and cry. I grew up learning there's no use in asking for help or justice...that you stand or fall alone.

Why do parents and teachers punish and ridicule those who call for justice and defense? They're "babies" or "tattle-tails" or "whiners", right? WRONG. I wonder now if my parents had made us really talk to one another, really deal with the issues...I wonder if I'd have known this funny, charismatic, genius his friends spoke of? Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my parents and I only partly blame my brother. I just feel, looking back at the past, that many opportunities to build relationships are lost because it takes more energy that we want to exert.

Now, instead of a loving brother, I have a stranger that I only know through my parents' communications with him. I've never met my niece, and he's never met my son. I constantly fight the taunting words he spoke to me throughout my childhood, and must rebuild my self-esteem through Christ's words. Rejection is not an easy wound to heal.

So, the next time you're too tired to talk to your kids...the next time you tell yourself or your kids that things will change with time, don't fool yourself. Relationships are built, they don't magically appear. Take the effort to do encouraging, team-building things with your kids. You'll be glad you did! And if you can't let go of your past and feel like there's no hope, remember that there IS One that sticks closer than a brother! And HE is the Great Healer!

The Good 'Ol Days...

Okay...so here I am... at my all-class reunion. Yes, we had the awful name the Lejeune "Devilpups!", since our dad's were "Devildog Marines" I guess we had little choice. So "sight-seeing" today, I'm remembering all the fond times with friends, driving through my old neighborhoods, seeing my old schools (none of which are still schools!) and feeling very nostalgic. But then, I go to my first dinner mixer...

It wasn't exactly disappointing...I mean, I knew very few of the folks from my class were coming, and none were close friends. All my close classmates are scattered about the world. So, what was I expecting? ...What I felt was very unexpected. I felt both out of place and blessed to feel so!

I sat there, watching folks from the Class of 1989, 1983, 1980, etc. all drinking, (spouses drinking even more) and laughing about the "good 'ole days when they did....". They were reveling in the talk of their glory years. They looked around the room in search of a familiar face, checking name tags, and hugging folks they probably wouldn't have even spoken to when they were in school together, disparately in search of that amazing reunion.

And then, I had a beautiful epiphany of sorts... Although I loved remembering my school days, I have since then found lifelong friends... more brothers and sisters every year... each bringing a unique flavor to my banquet of life! Each year, I've grown more deeply in love with my Lord, and each year, I am amazed at the blessing of good friendships He's given me along the way.

So, as a guest speaker at church recently said, "I'm not looking back and becoming a pillar of salt!" I can fondly remember my school days without the desire to "go back" and relive them. So, tomorrow as we go around the Base and attend the dinner dance at the Officer's Club, I won't really be looking at the name tags, or trying to relive the days gone by... I'll be looking into the eyes of my sweet husband and remembering how THESE are the good days...and there are even more to come!

So, do yourself a favor, don't look back too long, you may miss what's wonderful right now! Enjoy each day as it comes and live like it's your last! Live in joyful obedience...no regrets! Make today the best day ever...every day!

(Class of '82...had a good time, glad I was there........so long!)

Mission vs. Money

"The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense; they imagine it to be a high wall of safety. Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor." PROVERBS 18:11-12

As I may have mentioned before, several folks in my church are reading through the Bible together this year. Well, one of today's scriptures includes the above. It just struck me that perhaps it's not a coincidence that those two verses are side by side. How many times have we dreamed..."if I only could win the lottery"? It seems like when we, or those whom we love, are struggling with money issues, that everything would be better if we were rich.

Isn't it strange how we think that the lack of money is some sort of illness to be overcome! I won't go into the myriad of reasons as to why some are poor and some are rich. I think we're all mature enough to realize that life's struggles are not always a result of some underlying sin in our life. God has many reasons to give us the wealth we have. He makes sure to meet our needs...our REAL needs, and still keep our eyes focused on Him. Perhaps, if we could afford to shop at Tiffany's we'd never cross paths with the K-Mart crowd that needs to know His love? Maybe if we could readily afford to replace that broken washing machine, we'd never be able to minister to the laundry mat folks? Maybe the Lord has blessed you so, that those around you only seek you out for your wealth? Even in abundance we face the struggles of life. If we are really seeking to do His will, we must understand that He will place you where He can use use the most! So REJOICE in the place you find yourself...it's a Divine mission!

Some people see their source of comfort, their strength, their relief, their protection, in having material comforts, a good job, nice savings, etc., etc. Where are we supposed to find these things? In God, of course! So, as the scripture warns, if we see wealth as our salvation, we are doomed for destruction, but if we live in humble resignation to His plan (where His places you today), it will bring honor. Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Terry Roberts, [insert your name here]...the honor we see in these lives...it is from their faithful service to the Lord...in their poverty or their wealth, in their fame or in their anonymity. The honor is there when we accept His will, are thankful for it, and use life's circumstances as oppotunities to share His love.

Are we to then resign ourselves to a life of poverty? Never change poor spending habits? Never plan for the future? OF COURSE NOT. God calls us to be good stewards of what we have been given. He may give you more, He may not. He knows how much to give you. How much you will faithfully use. And even how much it will take to push you into a false state of self-relience! So, be faithful AND as Paul reminds us...be content. For in contentment we find true wealth!

Friends

All I can say today is..."Friends are Awesome!" If you don't have any, I highly recommend them. I don't mean the ones you go to the movies with, watch each others kids play t-ball, that sort of thing. I mean the kind you can let down your hair with and have a good cry. The kind you'd invite over no matter how messy your house is. The kind that know you're weird and flawed and love you anyway, because in their own qwirky way, they are too.

I am sooooo blessed! God has opened a window and now I can see. I usually have only two or three at the most at any given time. But that's all anyone really needs and probably all we could handle. We are there for each other, rely on each other, call when we're giggly, and call when we're broken.

I've been going through some trials as of late and have found myself in the very uncomfortable position of having to ask for help from friends. Okay, we've all been there. We want to BE that person to offer a shoulder, give advice, do the cheering-up...not RECEIVE it. But let me tell you...I've really had a revelation that just can't adequately be expressed in words...but of course I'll try. The mark of a true friend is someone who makes you feel like they're in the boat with you, not just drawing maps to the shoreline.

I have been so inspired by my sisters! They have each been going through their own trials, whether physical, family, or financial...but readily laid it all aside, when they saw my pain and heard my cry. I think to myself... I want to be like each of them when I grow up! Then, one of them gave me such an eye opener....I AM like them! We're all awesome, amazing, strong women of God! We're all flawed, self-doubting, weak little girls! We are exactly what we need to be for each other...imperfect examples of God's grace!

So, today...let a friend pick up the tab, let a friend listen to your weaknesses and fears, let a friend hold you while you cry. and remember that strength you gain from it. It's the strength you've shared with them....it's God's grace and love coming full circle. How wonderful is His love for us! How marvelous and mysterious!

Be transparent, be an encourager, and expose the "real you"...you'll be surprised at how many friends you'll find along the way!

The tongue is a powerful thing. It seems like every word we speak flows so freely, but then we say words in anger or out of our pain or disappointment. That's when the tongue becomes our own worst enemy. It's supposed to help us understand one another, see into each other's hearts, but instead it deceives us and cuts to our very soul.

Today, I spoke words out of pain and disappointment and hurt a friend. I know this because the friend too used the tongue as a weapon. Isn't that how it goes? Those closest to us can hurt us so easily; so deeply...instead of allowing grace to hold us in our pain. If it were a stranger or even one who was not a fellow believer, I'm certain that grace would have abounded. So, why when we speak to those we care about, those we call brother or sister, why then do we react so?

To say that it's out of pain or self-defense is a cop-out. We can make excuses all day long. I think it's because in every hurtful word we hear, it's that little hint of truth, that stings. It's that fear that the person we've allowed in has discovered and exposed our fatal flaw, our weakness, the ugliness deep inside that we ourselves loath. That's what Satan does to cause strife within The Body. He takes a small element of truth and uses it to tear at one another.

So, what's this all about? I guess I just wanted to share with you what I've learned. Maybe just remind myself that it's okay as long as I can accept the criticisms to grow ...no matter how they come. Maybe just to release some of my pain and my pride. I know I still may react in some cases, but next time, I'm going to try to think about what the words really mean, weigh them, learn from them, and gracefully throw the rest out! :-) I'm going to try harder to be "slow to speak" "slow to anger" and quick to listen with His ears of grace.

You see, the words we release cannot be taken back. They sit out there for Satan to use to taunt us if we let him. If I call attention to my friend's flaws in order to hurt, I've just allowed myself to become a pawn in Satan's game. That's why God so clearly tells us to speak the truth in love. It's not the truth part we have a hard time with....it's the love...our reason for sharing. If I want to restore my friend to God and myself, I must always check my motives...for without love I'm just a clanging cymbal, right?

Remember it's better to be kind than right...it's His love that binds us, that draws us closer to Him...He'll take care of the rest. HE is the truth...He is love.

He speaks through the small things, too...

Isn't it funny how we tend to expect God to speak though a burning bush, from a great cloud, or through a mighty prophet? I know that He speaks to us when we are in need, when we are deep in prayer and seek His guidance. But imagine this...maybe He wants to talk to us all the time!?

This thought was running through my head as I waited outside. I was early for an appointment, and thought I'd sit in my car for a few minutes rather than an impersonal waiting room, to wait. It was a beautiful day and the thought just came to me to ask God to teach me something in those few moments. As many of you know, that can be a dangerous request, but throwing caution to the wind, I took the chance.

As I sat looking at the clouds, the pieces of loose paper flying by, and various people busily on their way to and fro, I thought for a second of whether I was growing or healing. I wondered what speeds up or slows down this process. It was just for a second that my mind wandered to this thought, and immediately I couldn't help but notice a spider on my windshield! It was bright lime green and as tiny as a pinhead. It was crawling across the glass, fighting the breeze, that must have seemed like a hurricane, through it's perspective. It would stop for a second, holding on for dear life, then as the breeze let up, would continue on. It did this several times before reaching the edge of the glass. After it climbed up to the rim, after all that effort and struggle, I thought I saw it get blown away! But instead, what I saw was the lesson.

You see, it quickly had spun a strand. It used the breeze and the webbing and I saw it land safely on a parking meter 10 feet away! It was amazing! In that moment, God taught me so much.

Sometimes, you'll go through trials facing the storm...but if you make it through, and trust in the strength He gives you through His Spirit and hold onto that faith...He can carry you to your destination much more quickly.

That little spider could have avoided the wind. He could have climbed down the car across the concrete and up the pole to the meter all on his own power. It would have taken a very, very long time and would have involved many unseen dangers along the way. But instead, he chose to fight through the wind AND use the very thing he was battling to propel him to his destination! He knew he had a web to hang onto that he could trust, he knew that he had to get himself to the other side where the wind was its strongest, and he knew he had to LET GO!

So...how can I be where I want to be spiritually? emotionally? mentally? How can I get there more quickly? If I let God use the trials, ...work through them, ...rest when I need to, and really trust Him...have faith in His strength... He will even use what was meant for evil...as a blessing to propel me to a higher place with Him.

Take a lesson from the spider, and ride free on the winds and trust in God's strong arms to carry you to safety...just LET GO!

My favorite 'self-help' book...

I went to the book store today to buy a specific book and got caught there unexpectedly due to a rain storm. So, while waiting for the shower to subside, I proceeded to browse through the self-help books. Hey, who hasn't done that once or twice? Anyway, each book had a catchy title that promised great wisdom and hope; “Writing to Heal”, “Healing the Shame that Binds You”, “The Power of Two”, “Gentle Roads to Survival”, “The Resilient Spirit”, “Walking the Tiger”... But when I pulled each off the shelf and scanned the pages, it was the same theme over and over again. Nothing new or surprising. "You can't judge a book by it's cover", right? I guess it's true.

Then, I thought of God's Word. No matter how many times I read the same passages, I'm always amazed at the depth of wisdom I find. This amazing instruction book for life and the Holy Spirit within us to bring it alive...THAT's the wisdom everyone is seeking to find. Don't get me wrong. I think there's a lot of great clarity in books...but it's always just helping me see more clearly the truths in His Word. Unwrapping the solutions already in front of me.

So, join me in my journey...One Year through the Bible. My church family started it on New Year's Day and has committed to journaling our thoughts and insights...how the Lord is speaking into our lives. It's a wonderful experience.

Go to: http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/

I dare you!

Remember...

During our Wednesday night service at church, the pastor preached on Psalm 42. At first it seemed like a pretty average sermon; the typical study. But this time the words hit home in a new way. It's not that the psalm is particularly deep, but I found a new richness underneath the surface, that made me see it in a whole new light.

The Psalmist is lamenting over the state of his soul. He is 'downcast'...basically bummed...depressed. You get the picture. But he does an odd thing. He asks himself why he's discouraged and goes on to encourage himself by reminding himself of the blessings God has shown him in the past.

This got me to thinking...How am I to encourage myself through the rough times, If I don't have any good things stored up in my memory bank? I need to look at the wondrous things God does for me each day. I need to not only recognize the $20. found when I was broke, or the healing when I was sick...those are obvious. They are wonderful. But that can't be all I have stored up there, or I'll soon be bankrupt.

I need to fill my bank with: "the time I was hurt but didn't die", "the time my car broke down, but I wasn't in a wreck", and "the time I was late for a plane, but got to spend a restful hour reading His Word". These little blessings that occur hidden in the trials of life should fill our banks to overflowing...but we must choose to see them, choose to recognize His goodness in every situation. If we dwell only on the sorrow, on our loss, on our pain...our eyes aren't focused on the whole picture. God sees the 360 of our lives, we only see pieces. It's so easy to get caught up in the pieces. But if we try, if we purpose to see beyond ourselves in the here and now, we can store up a wealth of beautiful memories.

If I can do this...then these memories will sustain me. They will encourage me in the dark days. I will see the light that God pours over my life and not just the shadows of the hour.

So, "Why so downcast, o my soul?...Put your trust in God!" has a very new meaning for me now. I can look at even my darkest moments and see His blessings and find encouragement for my soul...because I know that in every situation, God is with me ...and for me... and when I remember His very nature is to love me...I find strength.

So, remember to look for His blessings, choose to see them, to remember them, to store them up as a treasure...and feel His love!

Mondays...

Monday. It's supposed to be a fresh start, the beginning of a brand new week. Most of the time, it's just a reminder of all we failed to complete the week before. But today, I LIKED Monday. Sure, in the beginning I fretted about unresolved class scheduling for our Sunday school classes, final exams Josh is facing this week, and my own disappointing anxiety issues that spilled out in front of a friend Saturday. But then I spoke with a friend this afternoon...okay my therapist...it's really nice having someone that is trained to keep your head on straight...LOL...anyway...

After our talk, I was feeling a little free-er (okay, I know that's not a word, but I like how it sounds!) ...ready to just bury it...let it all go...release it. And then, it dawned on me...that's exactly what I'm SUPPOSED to do! God wants to unburden us, to give us His strength in the midst of this life. He just asks that we lay it at the cross...and LEAVE it there. How often do I only render lip-service to this truth. Lord, forgive me.

As you're facing the day-to-day cares that can seem to wrap around you like a hungry boa, take a tip from the jumgle explorers...don't fight quick-sand! Lay back, relax, and let Him pull you across the top to the other side. :-) CHOOSE to praise Him, CHOOSE the joy He brings, and THANK Him for all His blessings!...and BREATHE!!!!!

Mad at nothing but me...

Did you ever have one of those dreams where you wake up mad at somebody because of what they did in the dream? It's hard to shake that feeling off right away, and you wonder if there's some deep hidden message or an unresolved issue you need to address. Well, that's the way I felt this morning. Let me back up a bit, to tell you that I've been sick over the past four days and am fully aware that the medications could be one of the culprits in this story, but I believe I found a message in it all, anyway.

My dream was simple. My husband, son and I were away at a friend's house. After getting ready for bed, he announces that he put the bags in the trunk of the car to prepare for travelling the next day. I tried to explain to him that we needed to get things out of them in the morning. (A toothbrush, change of clothes, etc.) I needed the bag and he said it wasn't needed. I was getting angry at him. He wouldn't listen to my explanation of needing items and not feeling safe going outside in my PJ's to get what we needed. I felt like he was unreasonable, didn't think about protecting me and keeping me safe. I felt the anger and pain of him shutting me off and not listening no matter what. I had gotten mad in the dream.

When I woke up, I felt such rage over the incident. How could he not see the pain? Crazy, right?
but then...I was faced with this thought...it's not about you...stop and see it from His eyes. It was awesome! I saw the whole 360 of it all. He showed me that he was caring for me and just did his best at cutting back travel time. He showed me that my words can really cut to the bone. And most importantly he showed me that perception isn't everything. We often see reality through the skewed glasses of our own issues. Our reality often isn't THE reality. Lord, help me to see with your eyes and not judge each action as though I was the center of the universe.

Sister...

When I think of you, a smile dawns within my heart.
Perhaps, mind and word cannot comprehend or express the impact you've made.
All friendships are an experience; an intermission from life to learning.
Friends of the past have inspired my life towards the deep theology of God.
But, through your friendship, I've seen that the deepest things are yet to come.
As you emit the character of Christ in daily life, I see how simple God has made our path.
And though the plan is much simpler than it had seemed,
the application has become to me a discipline, possible only through the grace of God.
I praise God always for our friendship.
For I have come to realize throught it, the beauty of His balance...

a pendulum swinging to and fro',
hot and cold waters merging to form a warm and soothing pool,
the quiet found in between the rushing winds,
a scent that brings back fond memories of springtime in the rain,
NOT a still neutral, but a dynamic bliss
found through obedience to the character of Christ.

Thank you for being God's tool
...and my sister.

No More Lies...

We all fight off the lies of our past, the lies of the enemy... ones we've listened to and sometimes even believe. Some of them may include:
- I am hopeless.
- I could have tried harder, so why didn't I?
- I am ugly.
- Why am I so stupid?
- I'm not good enough.
- God can't use me.
- My friends are tired of hearing me cry about the same thing.
- I can't be normal again.
- If people knew the real me, they would reject me.
- I will always be a victim.

What are your lies?

To live fully, we must recognize the lies we have carried around. Maybe your lie was given to you by your parents, kids you endured in school, or a sibling. Maybe we've bought into the lies of complete strangers, or perhaps Satan has used that little element of truth to create an illusion that has overshadowed your life. Whatever the source, it's still a lie. Deep down we know it, because God's truth brings it to light. You fight against it, you "hope" it's not true, but find yourself resigning to it again and again.

Once you recognize the lies, write them down, read what God says about them. Pray God's Word over each one. Tear up the lie, and post the truth all around you. Memorize what God has to say, and when you are faced with that lie...repeat what God says.

Throughout your life you will have lies come and go. New lies may raise their ugly head or old ones may return. No one is immune. BUT how we face the lies, what we do, how we join forces with our friends and God against them, that's the key. That's really life. That's really living. Reject the lies, resist the Devil and he'll flee. Sure he may keep trying, but the more we renew our minds with the truth of His Word, the stronger our defenses against these firey darts.

Okay, so I'm speaking to myself...but I thought you might need to hear it, too. God created you the unique person you are. He doesn't regret it and He has a plan for your life that only you can fulfill. Love being YOU.

What, Me Worry?

As I go through Paul's prescription for worry in Philippians 4:6-7, I see we are to thank God for His answers... What are His answers? Am I to be thankful for worries... for suffering... for tragedies? How can we be thankful for such circumstances?

Aha! No. It's not the circumstances He calls us to be thankful for...it's what He is/was doing in the midst of them. For those moments when God faithfully stands with us in the dark night of our pain, and turns what is meant for evil into a triumph and makes you more valuable for having gone through it.

When we are anxious for nothing and pray about everything, Paul writes that we "will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand". It's not an easy place to find. The anxiety and worry tend to come much easier than the peace....that is, until we recognize that it's an attitude, a decision of my will that chooses to see the miraculous at work, or at least trust that it is at work, even if it's unseen. I will "put my trust in Him, from whence cometh my help".

God desires to give us peace. In the midst of your storm, He speaks "peace, be still". He wants to fill your mind with truth, assurance, wisdom, encouragement, and hope. How? Stop listening to Satan's lies. Take captive each negative thought, and replace it instead with a scripture, a prayer of agreement with what God says about the matter. It doesn't matter if your actions caused your circumstances or if it was the act of another's free will causing the pain you've felt. The truth is, God wants to renew your mind, free you, heal you, and make you MORE than a conqueror. The first step is the hardest...agree with Him.

To Judge or Not To Judge

May 16, 2010

Okay, so, do you ever have those days when you feel like doing the right thing only ruffles everybody's feathers? We're called to "rightly divide the truth"...to "test every spirit"...basically to "call it like you see it", right? Well...it's not such an easy task, lately. We've been so bombarded with messages of "tolerance" from society, and on "loving them to Jesus" from the church...have we forgotten that there IS a time to stand up and say "the emperor has no clothes"?

Alright, I know that for me that comes much easier than walking in the path of mercy. I do have my "prophetic" tendencies. But, it comes from really caring for His lambs. I can sift a nugget out of just about any old pan of mud, but that comes from years of recognizing the glimmer that comes from the real thing and not getting sucked in by the fool's gold. What about the lamb, though? How are we to teach and protect those young in the Lord from false doctrines or pharisitical rhetoric passed off as the Truth?

The Bible says that the Holy Spirit in us helps with this. That He guides us and shows us what is of Him and what is in error. So, is the answer in just letting the Holy Spirit guide each person? If it were only that easy. I have my own ideas...many born of my own experiences and that clearly stated in the Bible. But I'm interested in knowing YOUR insights...comment away!

Handfuls on Purpose...

May 15, 2010


In the story of Ruth, I've read of the kindness her kinsman redeemer had towards her. His field was ready for harvest. The workers were in the field, bringing in the grain. Ruth was willing to walk behind the workers and take whatever they missed. They were instructed to leave "handfuls on purpose" behind, so that she could gather enough food for her and her mother-in-law to survive. Often times, I feel as though the Lord is leaving me "handfuls on purpose".


I went to a women's conference this weekend in Charlotte. I was tired from having been out of town all week for work, then quite literally having minutes to repack and head back out the door for this conference. After hearing the speaker, my expectations were low the first night. I felt as though God didn't have a "word" left for me. But then, there it was...my "handful on purpose".


A sister I rode to the conference with was at the altar. She obviously had recieved what she came for, and then some. The session was over and the crowd was disbursing. Inexplicably, I felt the Lord urge me to go pray with her... just support her. The time we shared, blessed me beyond words. It wasn't any deep theological discussion or earth-shattering prayer. It was the "essence" of God...His sweet aroma...His heart. He allowed me to see how He is working in her heart and life. She so preciously opened her heart ...to the place where He wants me to be.

That evening, and the next day, the Lord continued to reveal the real purpose for the trip. He plans wonderful moments for me to regain my voice, to learn, and to get to know a sister as a fellow sojourner, ...and laugh until I cry along the way. Thank you for inspiring me to blog!

Thank you, Lord...for the "handfuls on purpose".