Let's Live Life!

Okay...so this is they story of my life...unfinished projects everywhere!  I started this blog as kind of my own therapy. A way to share and grow in the process. Now I see, I've neglected my work. 

How many half finished cross-stich, knitting, sewing, painting, etc. projects are left undone around my home? A lot, I dare say.  Then, I wonder why? I can only come up with one reason...life.

It seems when life gets messy or jumbled, I need some project that I can control, create, feel positive about...it eases my mind.  Then, when my bordom wanes, or craziness ends, I'm all at peace and lose interest in the little projects. They just don't hold my attention as they once had and over time are forgotten.

Sometimes, I feel like a failure...never completing things. But then I remember...He has a bigger plan. Am I fitting into His bigger plan? Am I seeking His will and showing His heart to people around me?  Does it really matter that I have unfinished projects?  I can't get so tied up into the trivial things of this world and neglect the eternal.  So, now... I see my unfinished projects not as a sign of failure, but rather as a symbol of the many times He's pointed me back on to the right path, the many times He brought me back to life!

So, whether you finish all your projects or leave them undone like me, it's okay...just keep LIVING. Get back in the game. Get your course corrections and enjoy the trip!  Don't beat yourself up for little things undone...let them loose...free yourself from their hold...and LIVE!

When will I be back to blog again? I'm not certain. But in the meanwhile, know that my sails are full! :-)

Our Comforter...

This has been ...a week...to say the least.  It started off on a high... anticipating the holiday with family and friends, being thankful for so many blessings. 

At the start of the week, a new friend at church asked me a wonderful question. She wanted to know more about the Holy Spirit, more specifically, spiritual languages. It brought back such a freshness to my heart...thinking back on the days when I first trusted Him. It really brought me to the main question, why should we receive the baptism of the Spirit? 

Oh sure, many will say... to pray more effectively, or to feel His presence, but the real answer is power.  Not power to do as we please, but to do as HE pleases. He gives us power to witness, to live lives where doing the right thing, doing the hard thing, doing the impossible...is possible, because He is right there providing His power...never expecting us to have it within ourselves.

So, that leads me to the rest of the week.  I marveled at the strength two of my sisters had in the loss of their brother and their father this week. How can they do it? How do they speak of the joy in knowing their loved ones are with the Lord, rather than burying themselves in their grief? I'm again reminded of the Holy Spririt...Our Comforter. The same God who gives us power to witness, to live the life on the path less traveled, gives us...comfort.

So, how are these connected? How can I even begin to fathom this divine power He places within us? How can I begin to grasp that the God of the Universe...the Holy Spirit...would choose to live within me?  And so, there it is...He is our strength and our hope...He is our peace in the midst of the raging storms.  When life's battles reveal our weaknesses, they also become an opportunity to reveal His power. He is the hope that lifts us from our dispair and promises new life. So, when you find yourself in a mixed up week of ups and downs, and really just want to find something to hang onto until the merry-go-round stops...remember...He's always there.

To Dream or Not To Dream...

Dreams can be powerful things. Some friends of mine claim they never dream. I know that it’s just that they don’t remember the dreams, but in a way it seems sad. Sure I could do without the nightmares, but then there are also those joyful dreams…the kind that inspire us, that make us believe all things are possible.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that a dear friend and mentor was mad at me…absolutely furious…he was disappointed in me and wanted to just cut me off from his family and friends. In my dream, I never really knew what it was that made him so mad. He honestly seemed so disappointed. I did find out that it was due to lies that were said by someone he thought he could trust… and in the end, it was all cleared up.

But the feelings that stood out were not feelings of self-pity or anger. I was at first confused, and then desperate to have the truth be known, then finally…I gave up and let God be in charge (why is that always my LAST action?) and only then, did the truth come to light.

Because I believe God wants to always teach us something through our dreams, I pondered this one long and hard. I think I realized that the thing we all need to remember is that we shouldn’t react when faced with injustice. God calls us to act in accordance with His Word. We are to act in grace…ALWAYS. But this isn’t something that is automatic for any of us. It must be learned.

I’m reminded of Mr. Miyagi with Daniel-san…”Wax on, wax off…” God wants my drawing nigh to Him to become as natural as breathing. If I have to stop and think before I react, well…sometimes I just won’t. But if I read His Word, pray, draw close to Him, get to know His heart…then, I can learn what it means to think and act with His heart. So, in this case, God used my dreams to teach and stretch…

It's funny how we all are taught something new and different, even from similar dreams.  It was such an odd dream, so out of character for that person, I felt I had to tell him the dream and what I learned.  Maybe the message wasn't just for me?  God has such a sense of humor!  That very night he also had a dream that his loved ones were mad at him, and he too had done nothing wrong.  He shared what he learned about himself through that dream in his sermon Sunday.  About feeling unappreciated?...maybe we all seek acceptance of those around us more than God occassionally?  We should find peace in knowing our place in Christ...in knowing who we are and who we belong to.  Such rich lessons! I'm in awe of the way God works! How He reaches right into our minds to touch our souls! 

 

So, the next time you have a weird dream, ask what it told you about yourself and what God wants you to learn or see. It usually isn’t about the situations themselves, but our reactions. Good choices, bad choices, feeling like you have no choice…the mysteries our minds want to unravel during our sleep…God is willing to make clear. 

G’Night…. and ”Sweet Dreams!”.

No Regrets...

I'm sorry it's been a while since I've blogged. Sometimes, what is stirred up in your life is on too personal a level to blog about.  Sometimes, connections to our past can be bittersweet memories.  That's a big part of my journey this past month.  Maybe you too have certain memories of your past that are bittersweet...regrets that are mixed with the good times. 

Have you ever looked back on highschool days, for instance, and just smile at the memories of field trips, lunchtime banter, or some winning point you scored, to be flooded with the feelings of regret for being a wall flower or not standing up to the class bully or maybe for being too much of a conformist instead of being your own person?  Why does this happen? Why can't we just let go of the pain and embrace the good times? 

Some might argue that the regrets are what keep us straight today. There may be some truth in that, but I also feel that we spend a lot of our lives beating ourselves up for not being THEN the person we are NOW. This is kind of crazy if you think about it...afterall...we are the person we are now BECAUSE of those experiences. We grow, we learn, we change and mature...those very experiences we regret are often the stepping stones to the person you are today.

So, the next time you feel those deep regrets...turn around and thank the Lord that these moments now allow you to feel you need for grace, to empathize with others, to now "do the right thing".  Be thankful and praise Him that He has used the evil done against us AND the evil we ourselves wrought, and has transformed it into a blessing known as wisdom and understanding.  Don't punish yourself for acting as a child when you were a child...rejoice that you're an adult. Don't beat yourself up over failures...because you acted in the knowledge and strength you had at the time...instead be thankful for your wisdom today and His grace along the way.

Clear the path ahead by not regretting the hard steps along the way but by praising Him for the blessings they have brought and the clearer vision today!

In His Presence is Fullness of Joy...

Have you ever experienced one of those moments where you feel like you're REALLY seeing and feeling the hand of God in action?  They're such amazing moments!

I came to church this Sunday expecting an average day. I was feeling that calm, sweet breeze in my soul. I'd had a good week. Nothing special, just a week where I really felt like I was growing and getting to know myself and God a little better.

The service started off as usual. We had awesome praise and worship! I was really experiencing the worship... really "in the moment".  I was just feeling grateful...worshipping God...knowing He loved it...all of us in the sanctuary in our different states...some hurting, some sick, some worried, some happy and hopeful...ALL choosing to worship Him because of who He is...not regarding our state as having any importance in the light of His glory. And then, in that very moment I started experiencing one of those eye-opening, heart-bursting moments. 

The minister called for prayer, a message was given that one or many were there with suicidal depression, but that God not only knew, but cared and was there to make lives change and be made whole...to make dead men LIVE.  Then, hearts melted in the realization of His love... people came forward for prayer.  I was so full of Love for Him, to see His heart this way. A worship leader sang a song she'd written. It was so clear and touching...speaking of God knowing us so intimately, knowing our names, knowing each tear that falls.  One woman came forward for prayer, and was going to have to wait, as the altar workers were praying with others...but God saw her! He didn't miss a beat! Others came forward and held her and prayed with her until the ministers could come pray, as well.  His love surrounded her through the Body.

I was trying to pray, to sing, just feet away...I was overwhelmed by the whole experience. It was like a river flooded across the front of that church and poured  out over all who were there. It was so full, so rich in His presence...then like He whispered just to my heart..."I'm always here".  I couldn't stop crying...realizing how true this was.  He DOES know my name...He DOES see every tear I cry...He ALWAYS has been right there...in the midst of my pain and the center of my joy...and whether I "felt" it or not...He was the very strength I used to survive every moment...I didn't even realize...all along...it was HIM.

It was one of those moments when you see life so clearly...standing in His presence...and, yes...I really experienced "Fullness of Joy".  Had my troubles vanished, had everyone been healed, had lives been tranformed before our eyes? ...in that moment...yes...in that moment, in His presence...no care this world could throw at me even existed...it was just Him...loving His children. 

Spring up! oh well within my soul!

Praise Him today for just walking with you through this life...walk with Him...spend a little time in His presence...get to know His heart, His will...then just KNOW that will and pray it through...experience it...allow yourself to be loved by Him...in His presence there's fullness of joy! ...and the joy of the Lord is our strength! 

So, go recharge your batteries! :-)

Hurricanes...

We're heading towards the Hurricane, or at least its aftermath...towards the beach. I was excited about chasing that storm. I'm not sure why. Maybe to see its power to feel its strength. I love storms. They remind me of God's power. Weird, huh? Well, I guess when you've run for so long from the storms of life, REAL ones are a breeze. (Pardon the unintentional pun.)

This got me to thinking...I know, what a shock. :-) Anyway, I was comparing my storms with those in the world. Why is my reaction so different? Should it be the same? Should I look upon the storms in my life with the same awe? And surprisingly, I have to admit, the answer should be "Yes.".

So, as I watch the extra large waves, the strong winds, and think of the Creator, I'll also try to reflect on my own storms and remind myself of the awesome strength He brings through this weak vessel that enables her to ride the storms out! There's never been a storm that's crushed me. I'm still here to tell the tale. As soon as I make it through the storm I'm a victor. Beaten? weary? ...sure...but a victor none the less.

So, I will praise Him for He is stronger than the storm! And His awesome power is a testimony of His love for me! He may calm the winds and waves...or He may just calm those within me. 

Life isn't always fair...but it's eternal...and He loves us.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair or right. It seems like we're being handed all the trials and few of the blessings. A dear sister-friend of mine has been such an awesome example of faith and grace during her battle with breast cancer and now it looks like she's in for an even tougher battle. Why??? It doesn't seem right. But just maybe this time it's US who need to have faith...maybe it's our turn to live out her example for her! I WILL stand and BELIEVE...because I KNOW God loves her more than everyone combined...and He has a plan and a purpose that will bring true blessings.


Maybe we just need to be reminded. Just how much He cares.

Come on in...the water's fine!

The water seems so scary and wild. The waves pull the sand beneath my toes and I squeal in delight.

When I go to the beach, I sometimes close my eyes and listen to the sound of the crashing waves and birds calling faintly as they fly against the wind. My mind wanders back to the days of sweet Summers passed.

I remember my first tumble in the surf, days combing the shore for treasures of sharks teeth and sand dollars, being buried in the sand, building castles and watching them melt away in the tide, learning to read the sets to find that perfect ride into shore, and walking with our pant lets rolled up in the moon light as a glowing path of luminous foot prints are left behind us. Every Summer was a greater adventure than the last!

Then, time slips by and I find myself not having time to go there. The cares of life and business of responsibilities seem to always win out in the end.

Isn't that how our relationship with Christ can be? When we first get to know Him, we are excited at all the possibilities, the joy, the peace... then, one day, we become too busy to really pray and read the Bible. We convince ourselves that it's okay, that God understands how other things just have to get done. Until, one day we find ourselves only remembering the experiences of our youth rather than living them anew today.

If you find yourself looking back, stop and take a look around you, find some alone time for just you and God. Experience His presence and let Him take you to a Summer you've not yet dreamed of! The Son is always shining and ready for you to come. Be still and know that He is God. He gives His beloved rest. A peace that surpasses all understanding awaits you!

Time is not the great healer...

Okay, so how did my visit to Lejeune and feeling blessed switch to my remembering the "bad 'ol days"? It's a long story. I started to listen to stories from my brother's old friends... stories of a person I never knew. I started to feel pangs of sorrow, grieving for the brother I never had. Oh, my brother is very much alive, but you see, I haven't seen him in 15 years, and haven't spoken to him in about 11 years. He just chose not to be my brother. But it didn't happen 11 years ago. I believe it happened the day I was born.

Sometimes, we chalk up the fighting and picking as just sibling rivalry...something you'll grow out of when you're older...or so I was told. This never happened for me. Instead, there was a boy who grew into a man I've never really met...or only part of him. The part he let me see was the one who liked to torture his little sister to see her scream and cry. I grew up learning there's no use in asking for help or justice...that you stand or fall alone.

Why do parents and teachers punish and ridicule those who call for justice and defense? They're "babies" or "tattle-tails" or "whiners", right? WRONG. I wonder now if my parents had made us really talk to one another, really deal with the issues...I wonder if I'd have known this funny, charismatic, genius his friends spoke of? Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my parents and I only partly blame my brother. I just feel, looking back at the past, that many opportunities to build relationships are lost because it takes more energy that we want to exert.

Now, instead of a loving brother, I have a stranger that I only know through my parents' communications with him. I've never met my niece, and he's never met my son. I constantly fight the taunting words he spoke to me throughout my childhood, and must rebuild my self-esteem through Christ's words. Rejection is not an easy wound to heal.

So, the next time you're too tired to talk to your kids...the next time you tell yourself or your kids that things will change with time, don't fool yourself. Relationships are built, they don't magically appear. Take the effort to do encouraging, team-building things with your kids. You'll be glad you did! And if you can't let go of your past and feel like there's no hope, remember that there IS One that sticks closer than a brother! And HE is the Great Healer!

The Good 'Ol Days...

Okay...so here I am... at my all-class reunion. Yes, we had the awful name the Lejeune "Devilpups!", since our dad's were "Devildog Marines" I guess we had little choice. So "sight-seeing" today, I'm remembering all the fond times with friends, driving through my old neighborhoods, seeing my old schools (none of which are still schools!) and feeling very nostalgic. But then, I go to my first dinner mixer...

It wasn't exactly disappointing...I mean, I knew very few of the folks from my class were coming, and none were close friends. All my close classmates are scattered about the world. So, what was I expecting? ...What I felt was very unexpected. I felt both out of place and blessed to feel so!

I sat there, watching folks from the Class of 1989, 1983, 1980, etc. all drinking, (spouses drinking even more) and laughing about the "good 'ole days when they did....". They were reveling in the talk of their glory years. They looked around the room in search of a familiar face, checking name tags, and hugging folks they probably wouldn't have even spoken to when they were in school together, disparately in search of that amazing reunion.

And then, I had a beautiful epiphany of sorts... Although I loved remembering my school days, I have since then found lifelong friends... more brothers and sisters every year... each bringing a unique flavor to my banquet of life! Each year, I've grown more deeply in love with my Lord, and each year, I am amazed at the blessing of good friendships He's given me along the way.

So, as a guest speaker at church recently said, "I'm not looking back and becoming a pillar of salt!" I can fondly remember my school days without the desire to "go back" and relive them. So, tomorrow as we go around the Base and attend the dinner dance at the Officer's Club, I won't really be looking at the name tags, or trying to relive the days gone by... I'll be looking into the eyes of my sweet husband and remembering how THESE are the good days...and there are even more to come!

So, do yourself a favor, don't look back too long, you may miss what's wonderful right now! Enjoy each day as it comes and live like it's your last! Live in joyful obedience...no regrets! Make today the best day ever...every day!

(Class of '82...had a good time, glad I was there........so long!)