Life isn't always fair...but it's eternal...and He loves us.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair or right. It seems like we're being handed all the trials and few of the blessings. A dear sister-friend of mine has been such an awesome example of faith and grace during her battle with breast cancer and now it looks like she's in for an even tougher battle. Why??? It doesn't seem right. But just maybe this time it's US who need to have faith...maybe it's our turn to live out her example for her! I WILL stand and BELIEVE...because I KNOW God loves her more than everyone combined...and He has a plan and a purpose that will bring true blessings.


Maybe we just need to be reminded. Just how much He cares.

Come on in...the water's fine!

The water seems so scary and wild. The waves pull the sand beneath my toes and I squeal in delight.

When I go to the beach, I sometimes close my eyes and listen to the sound of the crashing waves and birds calling faintly as they fly against the wind. My mind wanders back to the days of sweet Summers passed.

I remember my first tumble in the surf, days combing the shore for treasures of sharks teeth and sand dollars, being buried in the sand, building castles and watching them melt away in the tide, learning to read the sets to find that perfect ride into shore, and walking with our pant lets rolled up in the moon light as a glowing path of luminous foot prints are left behind us. Every Summer was a greater adventure than the last!

Then, time slips by and I find myself not having time to go there. The cares of life and business of responsibilities seem to always win out in the end.

Isn't that how our relationship with Christ can be? When we first get to know Him, we are excited at all the possibilities, the joy, the peace... then, one day, we become too busy to really pray and read the Bible. We convince ourselves that it's okay, that God understands how other things just have to get done. Until, one day we find ourselves only remembering the experiences of our youth rather than living them anew today.

If you find yourself looking back, stop and take a look around you, find some alone time for just you and God. Experience His presence and let Him take you to a Summer you've not yet dreamed of! The Son is always shining and ready for you to come. Be still and know that He is God. He gives His beloved rest. A peace that surpasses all understanding awaits you!

Time is not the great healer...

Okay, so how did my visit to Lejeune and feeling blessed switch to my remembering the "bad 'ol days"? It's a long story. I started to listen to stories from my brother's old friends... stories of a person I never knew. I started to feel pangs of sorrow, grieving for the brother I never had. Oh, my brother is very much alive, but you see, I haven't seen him in 15 years, and haven't spoken to him in about 11 years. He just chose not to be my brother. But it didn't happen 11 years ago. I believe it happened the day I was born.

Sometimes, we chalk up the fighting and picking as just sibling rivalry...something you'll grow out of when you're older...or so I was told. This never happened for me. Instead, there was a boy who grew into a man I've never really met...or only part of him. The part he let me see was the one who liked to torture his little sister to see her scream and cry. I grew up learning there's no use in asking for help or justice...that you stand or fall alone.

Why do parents and teachers punish and ridicule those who call for justice and defense? They're "babies" or "tattle-tails" or "whiners", right? WRONG. I wonder now if my parents had made us really talk to one another, really deal with the issues...I wonder if I'd have known this funny, charismatic, genius his friends spoke of? Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my parents and I only partly blame my brother. I just feel, looking back at the past, that many opportunities to build relationships are lost because it takes more energy that we want to exert.

Now, instead of a loving brother, I have a stranger that I only know through my parents' communications with him. I've never met my niece, and he's never met my son. I constantly fight the taunting words he spoke to me throughout my childhood, and must rebuild my self-esteem through Christ's words. Rejection is not an easy wound to heal.

So, the next time you're too tired to talk to your kids...the next time you tell yourself or your kids that things will change with time, don't fool yourself. Relationships are built, they don't magically appear. Take the effort to do encouraging, team-building things with your kids. You'll be glad you did! And if you can't let go of your past and feel like there's no hope, remember that there IS One that sticks closer than a brother! And HE is the Great Healer!

The Good 'Ol Days...

Okay...so here I am... at my all-class reunion. Yes, we had the awful name the Lejeune "Devilpups!", since our dad's were "Devildog Marines" I guess we had little choice. So "sight-seeing" today, I'm remembering all the fond times with friends, driving through my old neighborhoods, seeing my old schools (none of which are still schools!) and feeling very nostalgic. But then, I go to my first dinner mixer...

It wasn't exactly disappointing...I mean, I knew very few of the folks from my class were coming, and none were close friends. All my close classmates are scattered about the world. So, what was I expecting? ...What I felt was very unexpected. I felt both out of place and blessed to feel so!

I sat there, watching folks from the Class of 1989, 1983, 1980, etc. all drinking, (spouses drinking even more) and laughing about the "good 'ole days when they did....". They were reveling in the talk of their glory years. They looked around the room in search of a familiar face, checking name tags, and hugging folks they probably wouldn't have even spoken to when they were in school together, disparately in search of that amazing reunion.

And then, I had a beautiful epiphany of sorts... Although I loved remembering my school days, I have since then found lifelong friends... more brothers and sisters every year... each bringing a unique flavor to my banquet of life! Each year, I've grown more deeply in love with my Lord, and each year, I am amazed at the blessing of good friendships He's given me along the way.

So, as a guest speaker at church recently said, "I'm not looking back and becoming a pillar of salt!" I can fondly remember my school days without the desire to "go back" and relive them. So, tomorrow as we go around the Base and attend the dinner dance at the Officer's Club, I won't really be looking at the name tags, or trying to relive the days gone by... I'll be looking into the eyes of my sweet husband and remembering how THESE are the good days...and there are even more to come!

So, do yourself a favor, don't look back too long, you may miss what's wonderful right now! Enjoy each day as it comes and live like it's your last! Live in joyful obedience...no regrets! Make today the best day ever...every day!

(Class of '82...had a good time, glad I was there........so long!)

Mission vs. Money

"The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense; they imagine it to be a high wall of safety. Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor." PROVERBS 18:11-12

As I may have mentioned before, several folks in my church are reading through the Bible together this year. Well, one of today's scriptures includes the above. It just struck me that perhaps it's not a coincidence that those two verses are side by side. How many times have we dreamed..."if I only could win the lottery"? It seems like when we, or those whom we love, are struggling with money issues, that everything would be better if we were rich.

Isn't it strange how we think that the lack of money is some sort of illness to be overcome! I won't go into the myriad of reasons as to why some are poor and some are rich. I think we're all mature enough to realize that life's struggles are not always a result of some underlying sin in our life. God has many reasons to give us the wealth we have. He makes sure to meet our needs...our REAL needs, and still keep our eyes focused on Him. Perhaps, if we could afford to shop at Tiffany's we'd never cross paths with the K-Mart crowd that needs to know His love? Maybe if we could readily afford to replace that broken washing machine, we'd never be able to minister to the laundry mat folks? Maybe the Lord has blessed you so, that those around you only seek you out for your wealth? Even in abundance we face the struggles of life. If we are really seeking to do His will, we must understand that He will place you where He can use use the most! So REJOICE in the place you find yourself...it's a Divine mission!

Some people see their source of comfort, their strength, their relief, their protection, in having material comforts, a good job, nice savings, etc., etc. Where are we supposed to find these things? In God, of course! So, as the scripture warns, if we see wealth as our salvation, we are doomed for destruction, but if we live in humble resignation to His plan (where His places you today), it will bring honor. Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Terry Roberts, [insert your name here]...the honor we see in these lives...it is from their faithful service to the Lord...in their poverty or their wealth, in their fame or in their anonymity. The honor is there when we accept His will, are thankful for it, and use life's circumstances as oppotunities to share His love.

Are we to then resign ourselves to a life of poverty? Never change poor spending habits? Never plan for the future? OF COURSE NOT. God calls us to be good stewards of what we have been given. He may give you more, He may not. He knows how much to give you. How much you will faithfully use. And even how much it will take to push you into a false state of self-relience! So, be faithful AND as Paul reminds us...be content. For in contentment we find true wealth!

Friends

All I can say today is..."Friends are Awesome!" If you don't have any, I highly recommend them. I don't mean the ones you go to the movies with, watch each others kids play t-ball, that sort of thing. I mean the kind you can let down your hair with and have a good cry. The kind you'd invite over no matter how messy your house is. The kind that know you're weird and flawed and love you anyway, because in their own qwirky way, they are too.

I am sooooo blessed! God has opened a window and now I can see. I usually have only two or three at the most at any given time. But that's all anyone really needs and probably all we could handle. We are there for each other, rely on each other, call when we're giggly, and call when we're broken.

I've been going through some trials as of late and have found myself in the very uncomfortable position of having to ask for help from friends. Okay, we've all been there. We want to BE that person to offer a shoulder, give advice, do the cheering-up...not RECEIVE it. But let me tell you...I've really had a revelation that just can't adequately be expressed in words...but of course I'll try. The mark of a true friend is someone who makes you feel like they're in the boat with you, not just drawing maps to the shoreline.

I have been so inspired by my sisters! They have each been going through their own trials, whether physical, family, or financial...but readily laid it all aside, when they saw my pain and heard my cry. I think to myself... I want to be like each of them when I grow up! Then, one of them gave me such an eye opener....I AM like them! We're all awesome, amazing, strong women of God! We're all flawed, self-doubting, weak little girls! We are exactly what we need to be for each other...imperfect examples of God's grace!

So, today...let a friend pick up the tab, let a friend listen to your weaknesses and fears, let a friend hold you while you cry. and remember that strength you gain from it. It's the strength you've shared with them....it's God's grace and love coming full circle. How wonderful is His love for us! How marvelous and mysterious!

Be transparent, be an encourager, and expose the "real you"...you'll be surprised at how many friends you'll find along the way!

The tongue is a powerful thing. It seems like every word we speak flows so freely, but then we say words in anger or out of our pain or disappointment. That's when the tongue becomes our own worst enemy. It's supposed to help us understand one another, see into each other's hearts, but instead it deceives us and cuts to our very soul.

Today, I spoke words out of pain and disappointment and hurt a friend. I know this because the friend too used the tongue as a weapon. Isn't that how it goes? Those closest to us can hurt us so easily; so deeply...instead of allowing grace to hold us in our pain. If it were a stranger or even one who was not a fellow believer, I'm certain that grace would have abounded. So, why when we speak to those we care about, those we call brother or sister, why then do we react so?

To say that it's out of pain or self-defense is a cop-out. We can make excuses all day long. I think it's because in every hurtful word we hear, it's that little hint of truth, that stings. It's that fear that the person we've allowed in has discovered and exposed our fatal flaw, our weakness, the ugliness deep inside that we ourselves loath. That's what Satan does to cause strife within The Body. He takes a small element of truth and uses it to tear at one another.

So, what's this all about? I guess I just wanted to share with you what I've learned. Maybe just remind myself that it's okay as long as I can accept the criticisms to grow ...no matter how they come. Maybe just to release some of my pain and my pride. I know I still may react in some cases, but next time, I'm going to try to think about what the words really mean, weigh them, learn from them, and gracefully throw the rest out! :-) I'm going to try harder to be "slow to speak" "slow to anger" and quick to listen with His ears of grace.

You see, the words we release cannot be taken back. They sit out there for Satan to use to taunt us if we let him. If I call attention to my friend's flaws in order to hurt, I've just allowed myself to become a pawn in Satan's game. That's why God so clearly tells us to speak the truth in love. It's not the truth part we have a hard time with....it's the love...our reason for sharing. If I want to restore my friend to God and myself, I must always check my motives...for without love I'm just a clanging cymbal, right?

Remember it's better to be kind than right...it's His love that binds us, that draws us closer to Him...He'll take care of the rest. HE is the truth...He is love.

He speaks through the small things, too...

Isn't it funny how we tend to expect God to speak though a burning bush, from a great cloud, or through a mighty prophet? I know that He speaks to us when we are in need, when we are deep in prayer and seek His guidance. But imagine this...maybe He wants to talk to us all the time!?

This thought was running through my head as I waited outside. I was early for an appointment, and thought I'd sit in my car for a few minutes rather than an impersonal waiting room, to wait. It was a beautiful day and the thought just came to me to ask God to teach me something in those few moments. As many of you know, that can be a dangerous request, but throwing caution to the wind, I took the chance.

As I sat looking at the clouds, the pieces of loose paper flying by, and various people busily on their way to and fro, I thought for a second of whether I was growing or healing. I wondered what speeds up or slows down this process. It was just for a second that my mind wandered to this thought, and immediately I couldn't help but notice a spider on my windshield! It was bright lime green and as tiny as a pinhead. It was crawling across the glass, fighting the breeze, that must have seemed like a hurricane, through it's perspective. It would stop for a second, holding on for dear life, then as the breeze let up, would continue on. It did this several times before reaching the edge of the glass. After it climbed up to the rim, after all that effort and struggle, I thought I saw it get blown away! But instead, what I saw was the lesson.

You see, it quickly had spun a strand. It used the breeze and the webbing and I saw it land safely on a parking meter 10 feet away! It was amazing! In that moment, God taught me so much.

Sometimes, you'll go through trials facing the storm...but if you make it through, and trust in the strength He gives you through His Spirit and hold onto that faith...He can carry you to your destination much more quickly.

That little spider could have avoided the wind. He could have climbed down the car across the concrete and up the pole to the meter all on his own power. It would have taken a very, very long time and would have involved many unseen dangers along the way. But instead, he chose to fight through the wind AND use the very thing he was battling to propel him to his destination! He knew he had a web to hang onto that he could trust, he knew that he had to get himself to the other side where the wind was its strongest, and he knew he had to LET GO!

So...how can I be where I want to be spiritually? emotionally? mentally? How can I get there more quickly? If I let God use the trials, ...work through them, ...rest when I need to, and really trust Him...have faith in His strength... He will even use what was meant for evil...as a blessing to propel me to a higher place with Him.

Take a lesson from the spider, and ride free on the winds and trust in God's strong arms to carry you to safety...just LET GO!

My favorite 'self-help' book...

I went to the book store today to buy a specific book and got caught there unexpectedly due to a rain storm. So, while waiting for the shower to subside, I proceeded to browse through the self-help books. Hey, who hasn't done that once or twice? Anyway, each book had a catchy title that promised great wisdom and hope; “Writing to Heal”, “Healing the Shame that Binds You”, “The Power of Two”, “Gentle Roads to Survival”, “The Resilient Spirit”, “Walking the Tiger”... But when I pulled each off the shelf and scanned the pages, it was the same theme over and over again. Nothing new or surprising. "You can't judge a book by it's cover", right? I guess it's true.

Then, I thought of God's Word. No matter how many times I read the same passages, I'm always amazed at the depth of wisdom I find. This amazing instruction book for life and the Holy Spirit within us to bring it alive...THAT's the wisdom everyone is seeking to find. Don't get me wrong. I think there's a lot of great clarity in books...but it's always just helping me see more clearly the truths in His Word. Unwrapping the solutions already in front of me.

So, join me in my journey...One Year through the Bible. My church family started it on New Year's Day and has committed to journaling our thoughts and insights...how the Lord is speaking into our lives. It's a wonderful experience.

Go to: http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/

I dare you!

Remember...

During our Wednesday night service at church, the pastor preached on Psalm 42. At first it seemed like a pretty average sermon; the typical study. But this time the words hit home in a new way. It's not that the psalm is particularly deep, but I found a new richness underneath the surface, that made me see it in a whole new light.

The Psalmist is lamenting over the state of his soul. He is 'downcast'...basically bummed...depressed. You get the picture. But he does an odd thing. He asks himself why he's discouraged and goes on to encourage himself by reminding himself of the blessings God has shown him in the past.

This got me to thinking...How am I to encourage myself through the rough times, If I don't have any good things stored up in my memory bank? I need to look at the wondrous things God does for me each day. I need to not only recognize the $20. found when I was broke, or the healing when I was sick...those are obvious. They are wonderful. But that can't be all I have stored up there, or I'll soon be bankrupt.

I need to fill my bank with: "the time I was hurt but didn't die", "the time my car broke down, but I wasn't in a wreck", and "the time I was late for a plane, but got to spend a restful hour reading His Word". These little blessings that occur hidden in the trials of life should fill our banks to overflowing...but we must choose to see them, choose to recognize His goodness in every situation. If we dwell only on the sorrow, on our loss, on our pain...our eyes aren't focused on the whole picture. God sees the 360 of our lives, we only see pieces. It's so easy to get caught up in the pieces. But if we try, if we purpose to see beyond ourselves in the here and now, we can store up a wealth of beautiful memories.

If I can do this...then these memories will sustain me. They will encourage me in the dark days. I will see the light that God pours over my life and not just the shadows of the hour.

So, "Why so downcast, o my soul?...Put your trust in God!" has a very new meaning for me now. I can look at even my darkest moments and see His blessings and find encouragement for my soul...because I know that in every situation, God is with me ...and for me... and when I remember His very nature is to love me...I find strength.

So, remember to look for His blessings, choose to see them, to remember them, to store them up as a treasure...and feel His love!